After spending nearly your whole life doing something, it’s kind of weird to just stop. Sure, school sucked but it just sort of became a part of my life. Nothing really prepared me for how it feels to be just done with it all.
I think everyone has spent some time dreaming of the day they wouldn’t be plagued with homeworks, exams, and projects. I know I did. But it doesn’t quite feel the way I imagined it would. I thought it would be more - liberating? Like having a huge weight lifted from my chest. I’m not saying I don’t feel better but it certainly wasn’t the miracle cure all for all my stress and anxiety that I’ve accumulated over the years.
Even now, I shudder just thinking back to all the work that came with school. Even now, I get anxious thinking about my grades. Right after I finished my last final, I had a dream that I woke up too late and missed my final! I have no doubt this kind of anxiety will stay with me for a while - that feeling of having a project due or missing a final.
I know that I don’t miss any of that but somewhere deep inside of me I also know it wasn’t all that bad. After all school was more than just work and leaving it was the official start of my adulthood. Perhaps that’s why it doesn’t really feel like it’s over - because in a sense it isn’t. I just went from the frying pan into the fire - I’m sure with enough time I’ll realize that and wish I was back in school as many older people have told me.
For now, I’ll enjoy the time I have to unwind and catch up on sleep.